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It’s Just Not Dignified

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Typically, we like to sheer away from stories about deaths
in Bizarre News. There is usually some tragedy involved and
and it’s just not appropriate, unless, of course, it’s some-
thing like this…

The District of Columbia’s Office of Medical Examiner con-
cluded, surprise, surprise, that alcohol was a factor in the
deaths of two men who died aboard a double-decker bus heading
for a Washington Nationals game.

They didn’t die of alcohol poisoning, they didn’t get hit
by the tour bus or even fall off of it. No, the 24-year-old
and the 35-year-old died when their heads hit an overpass
the double-decker was driving under.

How do you get your head in the way of an overpass you ask?
First, you have to be legally drunk, and second, you have
to be standing on the front row seats, in the upper open
deck of a tour bus.

There were 16 other people onboard the bus. None of whom was
injured. The double-decker bus service to the ballpark was
terminated, of course, because you can’t have drunks bouncing
their heads off of overpasses. It’s just not dignified.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+—————- Bizarre Sporting Mishaps —————-+

After beating 1000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the
racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft
and was promptly eaten by a cat.

In preparation for the 1992 New York Golden Gloves
Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by
pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke
his nose and was disqualified from the match.

While waving to the crowd after finishing fourth...

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